Last night I came home at about 9:45. I had been at the hospital, visiting friends who just welcomed their baby boy into the world. (All 10 pounds of him. Seriously. Props to the mom). Then I had run an errand before I came home.
I checked in with my dearly beloved to see how the evening had gone, as he had been solo with the three kids since he came home at 6:30. He had not given the baby his bottle or his acid reflux medicine, much to my dismay. He had just diapered him and put him down for the night. Not that you could tell- the baby was sleeping soundly and wasn’t bothered in the slightest, apparently. But it meant extra work on my part to wake him up a little, feed him, give him his medicine, and hope he went back to sleep okay.
Also- hell hath no fury like a woman who pumps a bottle and then discovers that bottle has been wasted.
My husband just understood that the bottle and the medicine were “as needed”- like, if the baby fussed then give him the bottle. If he fusses some more, give him the medicine.
There might have been an absurd amount of internal eye-rolling and “come ON- seriously?” sort of thoughts on my part.
Here’s some irony for you. A few days ago I updated this post, in which I offered some advice to new moms. Here was my late-addition advice:
6. Let your spouse figure out how to do stuff on his own. Watch him use 50 wipes for one diaper change and bite your tongue. Especially if you’re a stay at home mom, remember that you have approximately 40 more hours a week of practice in the art of cleaning up a nasty diaper with a single wipe.
If it really pains you, send me your address and I will mail you $5 for allllll of those wipes he’s wasting. It’s not worth it to get on his case, unless you are desperate to have the title of “The Only One Who Can Possibly Change the Diaper Correctly”. For that you get- guess what?- the privilege of changing all the diapers AND resentment that your husband isn’t helping you out with anything.
So just let him do it, and do it his own way.
Note the part where I say “if you’re a stay at home mom, remember that you have approximately 40 more hours a week of practice” than your spouse. So, yeah, of course I know that the baby gets his medicine twice a day, no matter what. And that he gets fed before bed, even if he’s not fussing for it. But my husband misses that part a lot- because usually he’s
herding cats getting the big kids into bed while I’m taking care of the baby. So, I mean, sue him if he doesn’t know my whole evening routine.
Anyway. It’s been all of, like, two days since I updated that post with those shining gems of wisdom. And then unleashed my superior-parent attitude on my poor husband.
Sometimes parenting is hard. And marriage. Just sayin’.