I’m not feeling witty or funny, but I do want to write. So.
Four kids. It is a lot of kids, all at once. The highs are high, the lows are quite low. Sometimes when I see all of them together it is just a heart explosion of perfection and loveliness. These kids. I can’t believe they are mine and that they are so awesome.
Other times- like every single time I am trying to get us out the door- I am thisclose to harming someone. Words are spoken that shall not be repeated. It gets ugly.
I am thankful we’ve had some really beautiful days lately. I think the postpartum hormones are doing their hormonal number on me. I started feeling down’ish last week. Sort of a flat, apathetic blahness that I can feel coming on. It’s a plane I hear circling and sometimes it lands for maybe an hour or even a whole afternoon or so. Then it sort of picks up and moves on. I was talking to my friend Caroline about it and she remarked that the good thing is that you know that it will likely move on. That’s the nature of postpartum hormones, for me at least. They come and go. So- I am thankful for the sunny days. They help move that plane along again.
I have a mental checklist I tick through, when I feel flat:
Sunshine (if possible)
Eat something good for me (I am killing brussel sprouts these days)
Take vitamins (I don’t know that these do a darn thing, except help me feel like I’m taking care of myself)
Be with someone other than just my kids (I met my friend Megan at Sam’s Club one day. That counts. It made a world of difference.)
It’s a weird thing to feel so enraptured with my kids and my husband and my life one minute and like someone rolled over me with a steamroller and left a flattened version of myself, the next.
Ahhhh, hormones. You lovely beasts.
(*No one actually says that.)